This is a question that plagues us. At any age.
When those first hormonal urgings hit us (mid-teens) to our midlife years and beyond, we wonder if we get enough, is what we get normal, and how does it compare to our peers? It’s enough to get us so ‘worked-up’ that we can’t get it up.
Is there a normal?
Everybody is different and the frequency is driven by many factors. For instance, teens and twenty-somethings have a reputation to ‘hump like bunnies’. Hormones are surging. It doesn’t take much to respond or bounce back, and there’s a nagging urge to get it as often as possible. It isn’t unheard of for this age group to have sex up to twice per week. Or more.
Then life occurs.
The free-wheeling time we had at this age fizzles. We have work. We go to school. We are starting families. Your partner still has annoying monthly issues (and just so you know, it’s more annoying to the woman in your life than to you.) The desire is still there, but with all those irons in the fire, the frequency may drop to half. Or more.
The good news is: you get into a groove.
You can sneak in a date night here and there. Make love at midnight. Send the kids to overnighters with the grandparents. Come home for a nooner. Rendezvous with a partner in a parking lot. Or the shower. Frequency may diminish, but creative opportunities make up for quantity.
Ahh—the 30s and 40s.
Our children have turned into terrible teens and want nothing to do with us. That’s okay, because the house is quiet and opportunities flourish once again. Here’s the tricky part: getting BACK into the groove. After 10 or more years of limited activity, you are in a rut—and not the kind you REALLY want. It may take a little more effort to flame the fires, but add in a little extra foreplay, some creative invitation, conversation, and adventure, and the surge is on. While new stressors have been introduced—money issues, health, work/life balance—you’ll likely experience an uptick in activity.
Over 50 plus.
there is some crazy notion that when you hit the half century mark, nothing functions like it used to. Truth is, things are better after 50. Most of our children have moved out and are now producing grandchildren. The house is empty. Some of us may have retired while others are pursuing a new career. Long-term relationships may have ended, but we’re exploring new relationships. We’re rediscovering our bodies and becoming more adventurous. While sex drive and performance issues may creep up on us, our sexual frequency can still kick in a few times per month. Or more.
So is there a normal?
No. It’s what works for you. The biggest obstacle to our frequency and performance is the expectations set by society. Toss out what you know, or think you know, and enjoy every stage and age.
What’s your thoughts?
Leave a comment below.
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