Cast your vote in the comments below.
20.
I've made big weekend plans, which means you shouldn't.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 18, 2020
19.
I made you in My image and I'm an asshole.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 5, 2020
18.
It's gotten to the point where special places in hell aren't that special anymore.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 27, 2020
17.
Never in human history have I gotten so many prayers from atheists.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 5, 2020
16.
No one thanks Me for Friday anymore.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 24, 2020
15.
My son died for your sins and I'll never forgive you bastards for that.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 10, 2020
14.
I created you as mosquito food.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 18, 2020
13.
Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 7, 2020
12.
I’ll stay out of politics when politics stays out of Me.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 23, 2019
11.
The human race is at 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 20, 2019
Popular posts like this
10.
Policy change: everyone have lots of pre-marital sex.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 15, 2019
9.
Every new day is another chance to lose faith in humanity.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 3, 2019
8.
You really have no fucking idea what you’re doing down there, do you.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 23, 2019
7.
You really have no fucking idea what you’re doing down there, do you.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 23, 2019
6.
What doesn’t kill you needs to try harder.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 8, 2019
5.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 1, 2019
4.
You are 100% biodegradable.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 19, 2019
3.
Once you realize nothing makes sense, everything makes sense.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 2, 2019
2.
I don't create complex marine ecosystems in your landfills, so please don't dump shit in My oceans.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 21, 2019
1.
Somewhere out there is one sensitive white churchgoer. pic.twitter.com/uvTuX53t2p
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 28, 2019
